A friend or a foe?
its like ive never known you
you seem so close yet so far
my eyes know you but my heart doesnt
do you ever think of me
when you do how do you feel?
relieved that i'm gone?
or do you even miss me?
the times we had
or did they never happen?
you replaced all our memories with memories new
but did you ever think how i really felt
stuck in the past
while you moved on
making me look like a fool
holding on to the memories that i no longer share with anyone
with anyone else
how is it so easy for you to leave me like this
do you enjoy seeing me like this?
do you laugh when you talk abt me
laugh on how dumb i was
how i was always smiling laughing stupidly
while i was always being dragged down
i told myself i should be more fun
so i could stay with you
so i could spend more time with you
so that i could get invited
but you always made decisions for me
said it was for my best
you thought it was for my best
but what about what i think
who are you to decide what's best for me
now you dont even talk to me
thinking its probably the "best for me"
the same shit
same excuses
same fucking reasons
"i thought you wouldnt enjoy it"
"i thought you didnt like it"
"i thought you didnt like being with us"
but did you ever ask me? about how i feel
if i wanted to be with you. not if i CAN be with you
you were so caught up with yourselves you didnt even have time to teach me to love you
to be with you
i was so desperate to be with you
aching to be a part of you
now i only wonder
would anyone ever love me for me
would anyone ever want to be with me
as much as i want to be with them
would anyone love me blindly
let me love them blindly
let me give myself to them
let me worship them
and assure me that i have nothing to worry about
Wrote this after cutting off my toxic friend who always left me out and told me it was for my own good.